Lesbian Advice
by idkgba27
Summary: "She figures that Wendy might actually enjoy the challenge that Cartman provides her and since she has nothing to worry about, considering that Wendy had yet to ever lose to him, Bebe decides to let this play out." WeBe, implied Buttman


**A/N: Hi there, it's me! *booing is heard from all over the world***

**Jeez, so, uh…..**

**Please read and please enjoy :)**

"So, you being a lesbian is like for real?"

While Bebe giggles at the question Wendy just rolls her eyes. She's been waiting for someone curious and without any sense of boundaries to ask that and it's not surprising at all that it's Eric Cartman doing the question. She's honestly not in the mood to discuss her sexuality because it's really no one's business besides her own but she's known Cartman for nearly seventeen years and if anything she's learned that you simply do not ignore him.

"Yes, Eric, I'm a lesbian. It's no big deal. I'm still the same in every other way-"

"Except you like pussy?"

"Jesus Christ, Eric…."

Wendy drops her head into her hands doing her best to not let this boy get to her but it's easier said than done. She feels an arm wrap around her waist and looks to her side to see Bebe who's looking at her apologetically as if she's to blame for Cartman's existence.

"So, what about you and Stan was that like a phase or something?"

"No, it wasn't-"

"But you're a lesbian…."

"Eric, what exactly do you want from me or are you just here to annoy me like usual?"

It looks as if the boy does actually for once wants something because he's biting on his lip as if he's thinking of what to say to her but Wendy isn't sure if she's interested in hearing his voice any longer. Bebe provides a pretty good distraction though by pressing her lips against her cheek and Wendy can't help but smile at the affection, placing her hand over the blonde's as their fingers intertwine.

"Should I get rid of him?"

Wendy laughs a little just for Bebe to hear at that question because it's absurd to think about her girlfriend who's such a petite little thing scaring Cartman off. It's not that absurd though because despite his large size Cartman has never been much of a threat, at least not physically, and if he did decide to get his revenge through scheming well Wendy could out scheme him any day.

"No, I can deal with him."

"Hey, I'm right fucking here you dykes."

The brunette snaps her head in his direction, eyes narrowed and it's enough to actually make him flinch as he stammers out a cover up.

"I meant, you _ladies_."

Wendy rolls her eyes, no longer in the mood to deal with him, not that she ever was to begin with, and she waves her hand dismissively in his direction hoping that for once he'll take the hint and just leave.

"I'm sure. Look, Eric, why don't you just leave us alone already? Don't you have more important things to do then harass me?"

"Yeah, like eat and make your ass even bigger and more unattractive then it already is?"

The insult is a bit obvious but Wendy laughs nonetheless and can't help but think that the little smile that Bebe sends her way is cute, the blonde's lips curved up devilishly as her curls fall forward. Bebe giggles a little longer before tucking her hair back behind her ears and sitting a bit straighter smiling now at Cartman as if she hadn't just insulted him.

"Wow, so I guess you choose harassing lesbians over stuffing your fat face?"

Cartman bites his lips and it's obvious that he's trying not to get mad and for once he actually seems to have some control over his anger, looking away and taking a deep breath before returning his gaze back to them. His face is still red though as if he could burst any second and Wendy's not sure if it's worth him exploding and thus being out of her way for good if it means that the mess that he would create would land all over her and her girlfriend. Either way it seems as if he'll be staying in one piece as he slides onto the bench across from them, propping his elbows on the table top and resting his chin on his hands.

"Ladies, let's skip all these insults. I mean, we're all civilized here aren't we?"

Wendy wonders if it's even worth mentioning that it was Cartman himself that started with the insults but ultimately she remembers that it is Eric Cartman she's speaking to. She sighs and grabs her milk carton, taking a few sips through the straw before placing it down and mirroring Cartman's position.

"Of course we are. Now how can I help you?"

Bebe seems finished with the conversation however and drags a french fry through some ketchup as she moves her eyes from the over-sized, unpleasant form known as Cartman to the much more pleasing form of her girlfriend. She often wonders why Wendy even bothers with these boys and doesn't just ignore them like she does. She figures that Wendy might actually enjoy the challenge that Cartman provides her and since she has nothing to worry about, considering that Wendy had yet to ever lose to him, Bebe decides to let this play out.

"Look, I need some…. _advice_."

That last word is muttered out reluctantly and Bebe perks up at it and by the way Wendy's eyes meet her's briefly it seems as if this has captured both their attentions. It's not often that Cartman is willing to admit to needing help of any kind and as far as either of them can remember he's never come to them for help. Usually it's Butters whose left playing side kick to Cartman but that blond is nowhere to be seen which come to think of it is another thing that is strange about this situation.

"Go on."

"Well, it's not really advice per se but it's a question that you're qualified to answer even if you are a-"

"Eric, if you want my help then don't insult me."

He groans as if asking that is too much and he licks at his lips, taking a quick peak around the crowded lunch room before continuing.

"Fine, whatever, it's just…. You know how you said you were a lesbo even though you and that hippie dated and even though you actually liked him?"

Despite his agreement not to insult her Wendy feels as if he's about to say something that will. She's unsure of whether or not she wants to actually help him but is curious enough as to what his problem may be to listen.

"Yeah…"

"It's just that I've been thinking and if what you say is true that means that even if someone used to be normal they can still turn out gay?"

She doesn't bother pointing out that what he said right there could definitely be considered insulting because it doesn't seem to have been intentional. In fact he seems to be lost in thought and both Wendy and Bebe are wondering if this question is pertaining to himself. Bebe's intrigued and she leans forward a bit because as excited as she is at the prospect of an actual gay _boy_ in South Park she understands that maybe Cartman doesn't want anyone else to hear.

"Wait, are **you** gay or something?"

Cartman's eyes immediately return to their's and there's a panic in those brown orbs as if they've actually caught onto something. He scoots back in his seat to put distance between them as his eyes move back and forth between the girls.

"What?! N-No, of course I'm not… Heh, you bitches are funny! I was just asking for…. for someone else."

"Whatever."

Wendy's decided that she's had enough of him and she turns to face Bebe who's still looking in Cartman's direction with surprise clear across her face. She decides to take another look at the brunet, his face even redder than before and his eyes downcast, fists clenched, and it's not until a fourth person's voice is heard do all three of them look up.

"Eric? I've b-been lookin' all over for ya. What are ya doin' hangin' out with the girls? I thought ya s-said that all girls were g-good for was-"

"Butters, there's no room for Eric's misogynistic views at this table."

The blond boy looks to Wendy and his fists are grinding against each other as he mutters out an apology.

"S-Sorry 'bout that Wendy… Hey, Bebe.."

Bebe nods in his direction but doesn't say anything. She's noticed that there's a new look on Cartman's face and she nudges Wendy, silently alerting her to the situation both girls biting down smiles as Eric looks up at Butters, from his sit and with what's looking like a blush across his face.

"What do you want, Butters?"

Both boy's eyes meet and Butters fists are rubbing together even more roughly than usual as Eric stands up, hands tucked away in his pockets in an effort to look cool.

"Well, it's j-just I didn't know where ya were an' I brought some cookies that my m-mom made yesterday an' I was just thinkin' how you'd probably like some. The fellas s-said that ya was over here an' well I guess ya were."

Cartman gives Wendy and Bebe a look but the girls aren't sure what to make of it. He turns back to Butters and walks past him, presumably to sit with the other guys, and they can hear the faintest conversation as the two boys leave them alone.

"Wow, do you think?"

Bebe looks to Wendy, her brow quirked and she giggles when Wendy sighs.

"I don't think I actually care."

**A/N: Well, I've been wanting to write some WeBe for a while even though I don't really head canon as Wendy being gay/bi/pan I still think they're a cute pairing.**

**Also I had to throw in some Cartman/Butters even if it wasn't official.**

**p.s. Unlike Wendy I obviously do care if Cartman has feelings for Butters.**

**Anyways….**

**Thanks for reading 3**


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